8 Principles of Good Parenting for Raising Healthy Children.

Parenting is by far the most challenging task to do in this universe. I know what you are thinking about rocket science and the like, but imagine having to pull a whole career without a single lesson.  Honestly, if I was a Human Resource practitioner in charge of appraising parents for their job, I will undoubtedly give all of them a pass.

Being a parent is made up of uphills and downhills. There are days you wake up feeling like an overachiever and there are those you wonder if really you deserved to be a parent. Beautiful as it seems if there is one area that will always give “you are very incompetent” is parenting. However, in the midst of all the highs and lows, Just know that you are the best parent your kid(s) will ever have.

Take a small break from reading this and try to remember an instance in your life you were like “wow, my parent is just the worst universe’s mistake”. Assuredly, most of us don’t have such a memory. We all grew up reverencing our parents and they were also the greatest gift and blessing we thought of. You see this very attitude, is what our children have towards us. Isn’t it amazing that we are doing the most?

It would also be ignorant of anyone to assume that in our adult life we still reverence our parents the same. Something has changed either positive or negative (to be discussed in detail in another article). However, as today’s parents, we all desire to raise healthy kids who will not only think we are doing a good job as kids but will also mirror it in their teenage and adult life.

Raising a healthy kid is very challenging. It’s even worse given the slammed position most parents are in today. There being no right or wrong way to parent kids, we might resolve to use our gut feelings or play it out the best way we know how; our parents’ styles regardless of how effective or not they were.

Whilst we are not judging our parenting styles, there are things that cant define good parenting. According to Steinberg, who is a professor of Psychology at Temple University in Philadephia, good parenting fosters empathy, honesty, self-reliance, self-control, kindness, cooperation, and cheerfulness.  Good parenting can keep your child(ren) away from alcohol and drug abuse, antisocial behavior, eating disorders, anxiety, and depression. In this article, we will be looking at seven principles of good parenting that will ensure you raise healthy children.

1. Be Keen With Your Actions

This is not new and cannot be emphasized enough. According to Behaviorist Albert Bandura, children learn through observation. Bandura’s theory draws from both behavioral and cognitive theories of learning. Conclusively, both behavior and environment inform a child’s learning process.

I have looked at my daughter carrying away dirty plates off the table after meals the same way I have been doing. Unfortunately, children not only learn the positive traits but the negative ones too. It is therefore very important to master how you as a parent behave around your kids.

2. Avoid Harsh Discipline

According to Steinberg, parents should not hit children at any given time. He goes ahead to explain that kids who are often spanked, slapped, or hit most likely get into fights with other children. Such kids are more likely to get bullied and use aggression to solve conflicts. Choosing other disciplining methods such as rewards and withdrawals would work without involving aggression.

3. Consistency

A few months ago, I visited one of my relatives. She has a five-year-old daughter who has never been spanked, hit, or slapped all her life. That day, she repeated a behavior her mom had warned her against and was pinched. The girl was very shocked to even cry. From that moment on, she would cover her face every time her mom came near her.

In most cases, if you lack consistency in disciplining or enforcing rules on your child(ren), they end up misbehaving or being afraid of you. Ensure your orders come from a point of wisdom, not aggression and thus your kid(s) will not challenge them.

4. Accord Respect to Your Child(ren)

The most important thing to understand about children is they are human too. The same way you feel disrespected, hurt, or demeaned kids feel it too. As Steinberg would say, “the best way to get respectful treatment from your child is to treat them respectfully.”  In the same way, you would show respect to other people, do it for your children too.

Parents should be intentional about speaking politely to their children. Listen to them when they are speaking and respect their opinion. Treat children with kindness and please them at every chance you get. Mostly, you can tell how a child is treated by their parents through how they treat others. Parents should know that their relationship with their children informs all the other relationships the kid(s) will indulge in.

5. Foster a Sense of Independence in Your Children

Most parents have found themselves in the trap of needing to help their children with almost everything. Whilst such a parent’s heart is in the right place, it limits the child’s inner ability to develop a sense of self-control and reliance. Self-control and self-direction are virtual a child will need for their life to be successful.

While it’s normal for a kid to push for autonomy, most parents mistake this for a child’s lack of discipline and rebelliousness. It is in human nature to want to be self-governed and this is something parents should embrace and nature in their children.

6. Be Actively Involved in Your Child’s Life

We don’t emphasize enough how parenting and being involved in your child’s life is pure hard work and commitment. Parents will be found in a place of restructuring their lives. Most of the time this looks like “forgoing what you need to do for what your child needs to do” Parents need to be in the lives of their children both physically and mentally.

7. You Can Never Be Too Loving to Your Child

Love can never spoil a child at least according to Steinberg. Mostly, when a child is spoilt, we often blame it on too much love while in a real sense a spoilt kid is not the result you get for showing too much love to your kid.

Most parents do not have time or intentionality to love their children, in place, they give children things to replace love such as leniency, lowered expectations, or material possessions. These things that children get from their parents in the name of love are what result in spoiling.

8. Customize Your Parenting Style to Suit Your Child

The child is experiencing constant growth. There are styles that would be working for you as a parent today and won’t work tomorrow given the new stage of your child. It is important to keep at par with your child’s developmental stages. Be keen on how different age is affecting their behavior and adapt accordingly.

Steinberg says that the same drive that causes your child(ren) to say no to you all the time is the same one that’s motivating them to toilet train. The same intellectual growth that makes your child curious and inquisitive in the classroom, is also the same one that stirs arguments in her during meals.